Working Together to Raise a Whole Child
By Anping Shen

     My son, Jason, was born with abundant energy and a flexible body.  This combination was too much for his Chinese nursery teachers to handle before he came to the United States.  During our first conference with his preschool classroom teacher at a  community nursery school, my wife and I tentatively inquired about how our son was doing compared with other class kids.  The teacher smiled and simply remarked that "we do not compare kids and every child is different."  We were pleasantly surprised, but still couldn't help wondering "how the school was able to educate kids without comparing them?"  In retrospect, it was our first lesson on the American child-centered educational philosophy.

      During the following year, Jason was accepted into a multicultural preschool program at a Newton public elementary school.  Meanwhile, we enrolled him at a weekend Chinese language school in Newton to foster his bilingual language development.  Supported by a nurturing learning environment, Jason became an avid reader and enjoyed his school activities while improving his social skills.  During his second grade, he also participated in the Newton All-City Honors Chorus and started his regular gymnastics training at a local gymnastics club.  Looking back, such a wholesome upbringing enabled Jason to develop a keen interest in learning and a healthy personal identity.

     However, Jason's schooling experience was not smooth sailing.  Our family moved to a different neighborhood in Newton with a different elementary school when Jason started fourth grade.  He began to come home with unpleasant school experiences.  First, Jason was frequently teased in class when he asked "nerdy" questions, then he was picked on due to some of his atypical behaviors, such as moving around too fast in hallways or reading two or three books simultaneously in class.  Before long, he was harassed in and out of school and experienced his first fist-fighting at the school playground.

     Deeply concerned over Jason's difficult learning environment, my wife and I contemplated sending Jason to a private school. Fortunately, our faith in the Newton public schools turned out to be well-placed.  We communicated with the school teachers, student support staff and administrators, and we sought and received their assistance and support.  I also applied to and was elected as a parent member of Jason's elementary school council.  Around the same time, I was recommended and was appointed by then Newton's mayor as a member of the Newton Human Rights Advisory Board.  I shared some of Jason's school experience with my colleagues on the board.  These stories helped inspire the board to initiate a citywide anti-bullying essay contest among the city's middle school students.

     In the following year when Jason was a fifth grader, his "characteristic" behaviors and enthusiasm for learning were accepted and even appreciated by his peers.  By the end of the fifth grade, Jason was voted by his classmates as a graduation speaker, and his speech was was full of praise for the school and was warmly received by the audience at the school's graduation ceremony.

     Jason's middle school experience was more positive from the very beginning.  He joined the middle school orchestra while engaging in an increasingly demanding gymnastics training schedule.  The middle school faculty, staff and administration were mostly wonderful and supportive.  Once during one class, one of Jason's favorite books in his desk was taken away by one of his classmates, so he loudly protested.  He was misunderstood by his class teacher, who decided to give Jason a detention after school.  We immediately shared our concerns with the school administration, which proactively mediated the case and made it a learning experience for all the parties.

     Jason's four years at the Newton North High School were by far the his best of his entire school experience in the Newton school system.  The NNHS's vast range of multi level academic courses and programs quickly dissipated any our lingering concerns  we had over the rigor of the Newton educational quality.  Besides taking advantage of a large number of honor and AP academic courses, Jason also participated in the school's wide range of nonacademic courses and extra-curriculum activities.  He even elected and enjoyed a dancing course, where he was the only male student!

     With his physical talent and well-trained skills in gymnastics, Jason joined the Newton North High School varsity gymnastics team as a dominant athlete in his freshman year.  Even though his club coach insisted that "it was a waste of time" to participate in his high school gymnastics team, Jason was determined to "help his school team" as he was expected a couple of years before when he made to the U. S. national future star boys' gymnastics team.  We respected and later very much appreciated Jason's decision.  While Jason was a foremost athlete in all six gymnastics events at the state level and won many top awards, including three years of scholastics Gymnast of Year by Boston Globe, his proudest moment was in his senior year when he was a tri-captain and helped his school gymnastics team to capture the second place at the state high school competition.  We felt very fortunate that NNHS provided this wonderful sports program, where Jason and other students could develop their sportsmanship and leadership as part of their overall schooling experience.

      There were many learning moments during Jason's four years of high school.  One of them was in his sophomore year when he attended a series of guest speaker's presentations on the U.S. wars against terrorism.  The first speaker was a history scholar and university professor, who made some very harsh criticism of the U. S. government's  war policies at the time.  During the following debates among community and school parents over this provocative speech, I encouraged Jason to develop some critical thinking on current social and political affairs.  To me, this and many other such school-wide activities also embodied a true liberal education spirit.  As a parent and an educator who grew up in a cultural environment where a liberal mind was not a priority of school education, I grew a deep appreciation of the NNHS's mission statement, which is, in part, to "create opportunities for open-minded, honest communication about the broad range of human experience to foster social awareness, generosity and compassion."

     In his senior year at North, Jason was selected as his class's graduation speaker based on the blind review results of his submitted speech.  He quoted one of Mother Teresa's sayings to "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier."  He then called upon his fellow classmates: "We are all born with the power to make the world a better, happier place.  Is it possible to live a successful and satisfying life while helping others achieve the same?  I believe it is."    (Yes, as the NNHS's motto says: "Learning Sustains the Human Spirit!)

     Working together with the Newton schools and community, we have been able to provide a quality education for Jason.  As a result, he has been better, happier, smarter, and stronger.

     We are grateful to have lived in Newton where we have been able to raise a whole child and a strong family.
     
(This article was published as a guest commentary on the Newton Tab in summer of 2006. There were some minor edits for this posting.)

​